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Running & Chasing:
An Interdimensional Tale

(Why Do Twin Flame Relationships
Follow a Pattern?)


The bridge that once connected me and my beloved is one I'm learning we've both needed to reconstruct to close the gap between one paradigm and the next

This is the second installment in my YouTube series on twin flames. You can read the first part here, or watch the video here. You can find the video that goes along with this article here.


Before we begin, I’d like to share my most recent encounter in Rome, Italy where I’m currently living. It just so happened that on my birthday I finally came across another twin flame, the first I’ve met in the flesh outside of my own. Nuria, an energy healer and all around awesome human, mentioned to me that as far as she’s understood, having read articles in both Spanish and Italian and also having spoken with twin flames in both languages, there is a distinction between twin souls and twin flames, one that it seems to me does not exist in English as we tend to use the terms interchangeably. The romance language speakers consider a twin flame to be what I’ve defined in the first video/article of this series, most commonly understood to be the other half of your soul of which you only have one, whereas twin souls are considered to be more like soul mates in that you can have more than one. That said, to be as clear as possible from here on out in the event that anyone is following along with a conceptual understanding that is not rooted in English, I am going to exclusively be using the phrase twin flame.


It was also in conversing with Nuria in Italian that I caught on really quickly to the fact that, because the phrase is fiamma gemella (literally translated to ‘flame twin’), the abbreviated way of saying it is not “my twin” but rather “my flame.” I absolutely love this, and so I’ve decided to adopt it in English (which is why you will come across it worded as such in the article to follow)—one of my favorite things about speaking and being exposed to different languages is allowing for each language to influence the way in which I view and use the others. 

Let’s jump back into the content. We got up to that beautiful notion that twin flame relationships exist outside of time. So, yes, on one level the idea that we’ve known each other for all of time across countless lifetimes is romantic—like, movie-scripts-are-made-of-this romantic. Even so, when I described this and the following concept to a friend, he brought up a (decidedly heartache inducing) Dr. Who storyline and gave me the phrase ‘time paradox’ which helped to lend some structure to what I was coming to understand about twin flame relationships. Then it hit me that to be even more precise we’d have to call it a dimensional paradox—which arguably sounds even more ominous, no? At the very least, it certainly sounds more sci-fi. But what even is a dimensional paradox?


Close your eyes for a moment and imagine the most ideal version of yourself that you can dream up. Picture every last detail. What do you look like? Where do you live? What are you doing with your life? How do you feel? Above all focus on that feeling, really let it fill you up. Chances are there’s joy. Even more, there’s probably an expansiveness as well, the sort of freedom that comes as a result of not being weighed down by worries or fears (as I doubt anyone would imagine for themselves such things). Sit with that for a moment.


Now I want for you to work your way once more through each one of these same questions but answer them for the present moment, comparing your answers as you do to those of your ideal. Whether there is a big or small difference between your two sets of answers, what I want for you to notice as you’re doing this is the feeling of “coming back down,” a sort of decline in your overall vibrational frequency, that previous feeling of joy giving way to heavier feelings like anxiety or resentment. This shift from the perception of the ideal version of yourself to the perception of the current version of yourself and the feeling tones that correspond to them both provides a way of understanding the key differences between living in a 5th dimensional reality and a 3rd dimensional reality.


So let’s say you imagine yourself on stage in a sold-out arena and you let yourself really bask in the feeling of being appreciated by so many for simply doing what you love; you’re practically glowing with a sense of accomplishment and belonging, a feeling of “YES” so loud that there’s no room for thought. But if in your current reality you are working a desk job that leaves you with practically no time or energy to pursue this vision, of course the difference between these two scenarios is going to seem staggering, the gap almost unbridgeable. And if in the first the feeling is a resounding “YES,” in the second it is a relentless “NO,” that soul-numbing resignation the result of living within self-imposed constraints (whether they’re consciously understood to be self-imposed or not). But even if you are this person who’s dreaming of the sold-out arena and you’re not working a desk job, but instead playing gigs in local bars and thus actually moving in the direction of what you want, the disparity between the ideal and the current will still be noticeable because you’re moving from the feeling tone of one of the greatest potential manifestations of your dream to that of a much smaller one.


Now I want you to imagine that, all of a sudden, a portal opens up and, in one step, you can transition from where you are currently to that dream scenario, effectively embodying your ideal version in the blink of an eye. Take note of your initial reaction to this possibility: is it excitement or fear? Did you feel ready to step into your dream, or did you experience some resistance? Keep that in mind.


Essentially, meeting your twin flame is like stepping through this portal—you find yourself being completely seen, felt, and understood for the you at your essence, for your greatest potential, the you that we’ve thus far understood to be the ideal version of self. Ultimately, this “ideal self” is simply the you that exists in a state of unconditional love, abundance, and oneness as opposed to a state of fear, scarcity, and separation—that is, it is you at a 5D vibratory state instead of at a 3D vibratory state.

Before breaking this list apart, I want to note that each of these points is broad enough to warrant its own video/article, and in fact for several of them I already have drafts in the works. That said, if you’d like for something to be further clarified, or if you have something to add or share with regards to any of these points, please feel free to send an email to as I’d be happy to read/reply.

  • In the context of this list, when we speak of the “ideal self” we are actually referring to our inner sense of self being experienced as the ideal self – which is ultimately to say the soul self – irrespective of circumstances. With a 5D point of view even if our outward reality does not yet completely reflect the ideal that we are striving towards, or even if it seems as though things are ‘going wrong,’ the unshakeable connection to our souls – to the feeling of the ideal and the faith in it – is always present. This is what enables us to attract what we desire into our realities (via the law of attraction) and to actually make manifest our dreams. The sense of self as experienced with a 3D point of view, on the other hand, is always in flux because it is dependent upon outer circumstances/appearances. This potentially looks like: ‘This person is ignoring me—what did I do wrong?’ or ‘Whenever I try to doing anything something goes wrong so I don’t even know why I bother.’ It’s taking a factor perceived to be external to the self and using it to shape an oftentimes negative idea of the self, one which is limiting. 


  • Above all, the 5D self consistently makes decisions that are in line with love – those which result in a feeling of joy and expansiveness – and not fear – those which result in a feeling of heaviness or restriction. The 3D self generally comes to decisions subconsciously, as a result of an unknown core belief or a societally programmed belief that hasn’t been questioned and that is generally rooted in fear, scarcity, or powerlessness.


  • The 5D self recognizes emotion as an internal guidance system and thus does not seek to suppress or resist emotions, but to accept and fully feel emotions so as to gain in both inner-knowing and overall direction. The 3D self is very emotionally reactive but there is also a distrust of feeling which means that emotions either burst out violently in a way that is all-consuming or are deeply suppressed and fuel addictive behaviors—in fact both extremes exist concurrently though it will be experienced as an oscillation between the two.


  • The 5D self cultivates self-awareness and, regardless of gender, seeks to balance the masculine and feminine energies within rather than to achieve that balance in conjunction with another. The 3D self tends to unknowingly project their own dormant qualities onto partners, falling in love with an aspect of themselves through the other as a way of attaining completion; for this reason, relationships are codependent rather than interdependent, and gender roles tend to be firmly adhered to.


  • The 5D self understands that the world is a mirror of the self, that situations play out and people are encountered so as to reveal different aspects of self. From this perspective, everyone and everything has a lesson, and victimhood fades away in favor of actively seeking to shape oneself and, thus, the world. Seeing separation as an illusion goes hand and hand with stepping into the role of powerful creator. The 3D self conceptualizes of themselves as being separate from others and thus will reject others based on qualities that they do not like without realizing that they are ultimately rejecting a part of themselves (if we take the last point alongside this one we can see the psychological truth at play that who/what we are attracted to and repulsed by always holds some aspect of self to be brought into awareness). This sense of separation also leads to a feeling of things ‘out there’ happening to us rather than as a result of our own thoughts/beliefs/intentions


  • The 5D self begins to experience the body and soul as one and thus will act/make physical changes in accordance with what resonates; destructive behaviors of all kinds, whether towards self or others, are simply beyond comprehension. The 3D self experiences the body and soul as opposed to one another, tending to give preference to one or the other with those who are more spiritually inclined placing the soul above the body and those who are less so placing the body above the soul.

  • The 5D self is learning the primary lesson of surrender—of recognizing and going after the heart’s truest desires by setting intentions, taking actions that are in line with those intentions, but ultimately letting go of how and when these things will manifest knowing that in whichever way they do is completely in alignment with the greatest good of all. This feels like being in a state of allowing, of remaining completely open to what is so as to allow energy to flow through all that we do (also known as being in the flow state). The 3D self is primarily fixated on control, whether of outcomes, other people, or the self through suppression. What is genuinely desired is often overshadowed by what is compulsively sought after—this looks like a relentless pursuit of money or fame, for example, without even really knowing why it’s being pursued. There’s often a feeling of dis-ease or struggle surrounding actions because the acceptable outcome has been so narrowly defined that we’ve effectively closed ourselves off from receiving the support of universal energy.


With this solid distinction established as our lens, let’s re-explore the twin flame encounter. So we meet our flame, we step into the 5D portal, and then what happens? Because this transition from the 3D to the 5D happens so instantaneously, it cannot be sustained or even really understood for what it is. Outwardly, we are in the presence of this person who inspires in us such profoundly deep feelings of love and completion and unlimited potential that it is all too easy to attribute these feelings to them, or to the fact of being in their presence...and in some sense it is because of them that we are experiencing these things—but only because they are mirroring to us what is already there. But we very likely don’t see it this way at first.


Since we experience these feelings in conjunction with meeting our twin flame, on some level we jump to the conclusion that we need our flames in order to feel this way—this is what leads on one hand to the chasing. So then why the running? Remember I asked you to keep in mind what your initial response was to being given the chance to step into everything you ever dreamed of in the blink of an eye—if you felt fear or resistance, you can understand why the runner runs. Honestly, I’m pretty positive that the vast majority would initially experience some degree of fear or resistance, or even just a feeling of ‘woah, slow down a minute’ if suddenly faced with the prospect of having everything they’ve ever wanted and being all they’ve ever dreamed of—it’s incredibly overwhelming!


The most important thing to realize is that the chaser’s chasing after the runner is as much a running away from the self as is the runner’s running away from the chaser, which is to say from the self they see and feel themselves to be in the chaser’s presence. Ultimately what both flames are actually running away from is the potential of their truest selves.


The thing is this distinction between ideal self and current self is an illusion—right now in this very moment you already are that ideal self but you’re quite literally incapable of feeling this to be true, of experiencing yourself as such in your reality, if you are living within the limitations of a 3D mindset. All that meeting your flame has done is pulled the veil from your eyes. One flame responds to this by becoming fixated on the veil-puller (chasing after the other flame) while the second flame responds by trying to put the veil back on (denying what’s going on and running away). But both of these responses come from an inability or an unwillingness to face the self—which is to say that both are rooted in fear, or the 3D mindset.


Despite being able to tap into the feeling of that 5D sense of self as a result of this encounter, when we first meet our flames we are typically still very much rooted in our 3D sense of self—and after picking apart these two different belief systems it’s quite easy to understand why the relationship inevitably begins to unravel. Think about what it would be like to take the cellphone you had back in like 2003, the one whose coolest feature was the game Snake (slightly older people you know exactly what I’m talking about), and imagine trying to run the most current applications—you wouldn’t even be able to install them! Even though we can feel the feelings, can sense the truth of the encounter, we haven’t yet developed the proper mental framework to support them, which is why when we try to cram this relationship into any of our preexisting mental structures or approach it with any behavior born of an unconscious, fear-based belief it falls apart.


The twin flame relationship can only thrive in a 5D context because, remember, this relationship is based in unconditional love and, ultimately, the shift from 3D to 5D is the shift from fear to unconditional love. To make the shift we need to rewrite our minds. Think of it this way: the mental concept you have of yourself and the world around you is that old cellphone, and meeting your flame has tasked you with upgrading…only it’s less like upgrading and more like building an entirely new phone from scratch. So how do we do it? We heal and we integrate. (There’s so much on this topic that I want to share with you, including a journey into a past life, that I already know it will be the 3rd video/article in this series—you won’t want to miss out, so if you’re a reading sort I highly suggest that you subscribe to my blog using the form down below, whereas if you’d rather watch then visit my YouTube channel to subscribe there.)

So let’s wrap this up. The question is: Why do twin flame relationships follow a pattern? Because this encounter isn’t so much a romance as it is the catalyst that we need to step out of the limitations of the 3D mindset and into the unlimited potential of the 5D mindset, which is to say to transition into being able to experience ourselves freely and fully in the right here and now as our “ideal” soul selves. Chasers, each time you are denied you are forced to make the choice: do I believe my heart even if there is no outward evidence of what I'm feeling, or do I accept what is being presented to me in reality even if I know in my heart that it isn't true? This choice constitutes the very crux of the shift from a 3D perspective to a 5D perspective. To live in 5D – which is to say to live in love – is, ultimately, to live in faith. Twin flames come into each other's lives to teach one another the lesson of faith.


I can't tell you how poetic it is for me to finally be realizing this. When my flame and I parted ways the last time we saw each other, she and I both gave to one another something with the word faith written upon it as if to say: allow this to lead you back to me. It has been. What I've noticed with each time that I’ve been met with a response that directly defied my feelings is that I became, quite paradoxically, even more certain of my feelings—I felt them all the more strongly and clearly. Each time my sense of faith deepened, enabling me to step all the more fully and assuredly into the role of the creator that I was rightfully born to take. Every time that I chose not to believe what I was being shown in 3D, I stepped more firmly into 5D. This is why the runner/chaser dynamic must play out and why it is so crucial that twin flame relationships follow a pattern.


I’m definitely not saying that this is easy, or that sometimes it isn’t so unbelievably frustrating that it’s maddening, but we were literally granted a taste of pure bliss in encountering our twin flames because that one taste is all we really need to propel us through the most difficult of transformations. It’s always helped me, whenever going through a particularly rough patch, to take a step back and just simply let myself reflect on the fact that I’ve found my one. Say it out loud if you have to: I found my one. This feeling, the feeling of just simply knowing my twin flame, it’s everything. No matter what’s occurring, ultimately none of it matters—this feeling outweighs all of it. And to be carried this far and with this much assurance on the wings of a single feeling, well, this is at the very heart of our greatest lesson as twin flames.

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